And the score is...

It's been 9 long days of trying not to parse every twinge or feeling.  It's hard to tell if any symptoms that could indicate pregnancy are because of hormone medication, because of pregnancy, or just in my head because I know that's a typical symptom.  Do my boobs hurt because that's what progesterone does or because the turkeys are cooking? (FYI if you didn't see my last post, I'm calling the embryos our turkeys). Am I tired and ready for bed at 8:30 because we walked around Six Flags or decorated the house for Christmas; or am I exhausted because the turkeys stuck? Crazy dreams because I'm stressed out or because I'm pregnant? We didn't want to test at home because we've never had good luck with those tests; my only positive, at-home pregnancy test was one I took after our positive beta last December. So we had to wait until my beta blood test today.

Blood draw was early this morning.  I got there a little early, so I got in and out before my actual appointment time. It was quite busy; the nurse said they had about 8 women in today for betas.  She told me that they would call with the results later in the day.  And thus began the excruciating wait for that one phone call.  I went back to work and tried to distract myself.  I carried my phone around everywhere I went so I wouldn't miss the call.  The more the day went on, the more anxious and nervous I got.  I convinced myself that when the nurse finally called, she would have bad news for us because I no longer felt any symptoms; they had just been in my head.

Finally, around the time I was getting ready to leave work, the nurse called.  I was shaking as I took the phone into the back hallway for privacy in our the conversation.  There was no dodging the issue.  The nurse told me that our beta came back at 344, a good strong positive. (25 is what will usually trigger a home pregnancy test for those of you wondering).  I'm to continue meds and order more if needed.  I go back on Friday for a second beta to hopefully see that number at 700 minimum.  Less than 700 would mean that the pregnancy is biochemical; more than 700 means the embryo(s) are growing like they should.

So we are again cautiously optimistic.  We had a good strong first number, so that seems to be a good sign.  I have plans to sit around all day tomorrow while at a training for work; hopefully that will provide an ideal environment for the turkeys.  We firmly believe that all of the positive energy from friends and family over the last month, especially the last few days, helped us get to this point. Please keep it coming.  And thank you!!

Turkeys are in the oven 😊

Today was transfer day!!

Here we go!

The lab called last week to confirm that my transfer would be at 1pm and to arrive by 12:15.  It's not the usual doctor's office in Southlake, but rather the lab in Dallas.  That meant an hour drive, so we left super early and got lunch out beforehand.  We got to the doctor's office a little early, where they had more paperwork for us to fill out.  Then we waited for them to call us back.

I expected a similar situation as at our old clinic.  There, the transfer was done in the same exam rooms the regular ultrasounds are done in.  The embryologist would bring in the embryos from the lab, carefully carrying them through the hallway when told to. Then I'd lay there after transfer for about 10 minutes.  

He wanted to take these home
 and wear all day...

My transfer garb...

This clinic is very different, but in a good way.  A lot of the details are the same- dark room, full bladder, ultrasound-guidance, no scented lotions, pictures of the embryos... But at this clinic, they took us into what looked like a surgery pre-op room.  I was told to change into the gown, put on special socks, and cover my hair.  Spencer got his own special outfit to wear as well. Turns out, this clinic does the transfer in an operating room connected to the lab.

Then we got to speak with a nurse, the doctor, the embryologist, and another nurse.  They answered questions and told us what to expect.  The embryologist gave us pictures of the embryos they'd thawed for us.  She said that one embryo looked good; the other one was still collapsed (I think that was the phrase she used) but she said that it'd likely continue to progress and get better.  After chatting with everyone, the nurse walked us back to the operating room.  I got on the table and the nurses got me into position.  The cool part about this transfer is that there is a TV in the OR that lets you see your embryos get sucked into the tube for transfer. I thought that was kind of neat.  The rest of transfer went as normal.  A nurse used the ultrasound machine to help the doctor guide a catheter into my uterus.  Once in the right spot, the lab brought in the tube of our embryos.  We got to see the little puff as the embryos shot in.  And that was it.  I scooted to the travel bed thing, and was wheeled back to the room.  I had to lay around for 20 minutes afterwards.  Then we got to change and head home with orders to take it easy until the first pregnancy test on the 30th.

Nervous/excited to get these turkeys in where they belong.

Our little turkeys.
The top one is still collapsed but ought to expand and get better soon.
The bottom on is rated well.

5dp5dt

Today marks five days past our 5 day embryo transfer (that's what the title means in abbreviations).

The pups are on board!

On Tuesday, May 10, we transferred two embryos.  They were originally rated perfectly at 4AA, but during the thaw, embryo two got downgraded to a 4AB.  It's still a great rating, though. 

I'd forgotten how uncomfortable the whole transfer process is. I had to have a full bladder so they could see the uterus better. Then during the transfer, they push the ultrasound wand into my tummy to visualize where to aim the embryos. That doesn't include the pap-smear-like process going on as well. They get me all prepped and then call the lab for the embryos. Our two came in one little syringe that the doctor shot into my lining. Then they take the syringe back to the lab to make sure it's empty. Instead of getting to use the restroom, I have to lay there for a while; after that, it's just go home and rest up.  

The little mouse pointer is where our pups are.

We also get to keep doing the progesterone shots every night; I say we because Spencer has to do those still.  I've not been able to work up the courage to try the intramuscular shots on myself.  We have found that my right side doesn't hurt, while the left side is rather uncomfortable; funny how that happens.

Over the last week, I've been working on providing the best environment possible.  I cleaned up my diet, eating more fruits and veggies and less sugar. I've taken it easy, trying not to do too much or stress over anything. I don't feel any different but it's still early.  The chart below shows exactly what happens each day past transfer.  So as of now, implantation ought to be complete and the placenta and fetus cells are developing.  I have my first pregnancy test on Thursday, May 19 (my birthday!).  Because it's my birthday and I'm nervous to ruin my birthday with bad news, I may test on Wednesday or ask the nurse to not call me until the second beta test.  I haven't decided yet though.

So cross every finger and all your toes that at least one of these little pups dig in and stick around!

Third Time's the Charm!! (two threes for two embryos)

Beta Test: Round II

I’m going to start with what everyone is really waiting for…Frosty made it through! We are pregnant!  It’s still very early and we have a few more hurdles to get through, but we wanted to share the exciting news with everyone.  When I started this blog, I decided that I want to share the good and the bad with y’all.  So hopefully it’s only good news from here on out.

Now for the rest of the update since my last post…

Spencer has been doing a great job with my progesterone shots.  I barely feel them and haven't had any knots in my bum from the oil not absorbing properly.  We even had to do one at the car after his graduation, which was a tad different. The progesterone has definitely had an effect on me though; see the symptoms below, most of them are caused by the progesterone shots.

Today was my beta test to determine if Frosty made it through the two week wait.  A short blood draw in the morning, then a long wait throughout the day for that phone call.  I had to let it go to voicemail because I had interview committee obligations to fulfill throughout the morning.  But once that was done, I looked at my phone and saw the text version of the voicemail.  The key words that stood out to me were congratulations, positive, 109! I was so giddy, but ending a conversation with some coworkers so I kept it inside for a few minutes.  I was shaking by the time I walked out of the library and headed to my car.  I texted Spencer immediately and told him the good news.  I’m pretty sure I’ve cried and been very shaky over the news, as well as absolutely giddy.  It was much easier to function at work the rest of the day compared to when we got the bad news two months ago, even if it was a little hard to focus.

I have another blood test on Saturday to determine if my levels keep rising. The doctor wants to see my level at over 220 to indicate a healthy increase and healthy pregnancy.  So keep the good thoughts and prayers coming please.  We are not completely out of the woods yet, so it’s cautious optimism right now.  After Saturday’s blood test, the next hurdle is the ultrasound to make sure the baby is actually there and it’s not just an empty sac; we might even get to hear the heartbeat then.  I know most women wouldn’t even share this news for another two months, but I don’t care.  I want everyone to be able to celebrate with us now and hopefully at each milestone along the way.  And if, God forbid, we do get bad news eventually, we know we have an excellent support network to mourn with (let’s hope we don’t have to use it though).

Shot/blood draw counter: IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII II

Symptom tracker:  still a little tired (sleepy time is around 8:30/9 pm most nights), nose goes crazy with random smells, taste buds are off making lots of food not as delicious as it used to be, dizzy more often, a little bloated most of the time, hot flashes occasionally, cry more at things that shouldn't really make a grown woman cry (the news gets really iffy sometimes depending on how many heartwarming stories they have to share), slightly crampy (but that's completely normal as Frosty digs in and my uterus makes room for him/her), allergies have been going haywire the last two weeks (I even had to go to my primary care doctor to get antibiotics my sore throat got so bad)

Knocked up day

Monday, we never got our update from the doctor’s office on how our embryos were progressing, so I called them for the update.  Turns out they’d been waiting to hear back from the doctor on when transfer time would be.  The embryologist said that all 15 of our embryos were progressing well; they want to see 6-8 cells by day three, and all fifteen of ours were at that point. Such great news! They didn’t have a transfer time for me yet, and said they’d call on Tuesday with an arrival time.  Tuesday’s phone call revealed an 11 am transfer time, 10:30 arrival with a full bladder.  I was excited the rest of the day.

Knocked-up Day has finally arrived!! Spencer and I took Zoey to the park in the morning so that she’d be more worn out the rest of the day and not bother me as much. I changed when we got home into clothes that family members had given me.  I had a skirt that Cheryl gave me and a shirt Curtis gave me so that side of my family was represented.  I also wore the “cancer sucks” socks that Paula gave me when David was going through his treatment, so I felt like both of them were with me (I also wore these at retrieval); and to top it off was a sweater Lynnette gave me last Christmas.  I felt like wearing this stuff made the experience a little luckier; Spencer said I looked like Amy Farrah Fowler. 

 

We headed to the doctor’s office.  We got there a little early and checked in.  I was supposed to take two Valium pills when we got there as well as drink lots of water.  Man that stuff kicks in fast! I was so loopy from it.  They took us back and showed up pictures of all of our little embryos.  We have 9 that are excellent right now, so they picked one of those to transfer and the other 8 will be frozen.  Of the other six, three probably won’t really make it to freeze and they will be discarded.  They are going to watch the other three to see if they don’t catch up enough to freeze on day 6. They said because our embryos look so great, they advise against transferring two; that it’s not really necessary and only ups the chances for twins.  Overall, we were very pleased with how many we get to keep and try to build a family with.  Then the doctor came over to talk to us.  He said that because we used the Lupron trigger instead of the hCG trigger (which we did to avoid getting over-stimulated and the complications that come from that), my lining may not be as receptive to the embryo at this time and we could wait and do a frozen transfer for no extra charge (except more meds).  We decided to risk it, mainly because we were so excited for this and didn’t want to wait any longer. We kind of felt like if this were really such a big issue, then the doctor would have put his foot down and said let’s wait or brought it up sooner in the process besides 10 minutes before transfer. Plus we will have 8 frozen embryos we can use in the future if this doesn’t work.  Some further research on Google (I know I shouldn’t!) seems to suggest that Lupron prevents my body from making enough estrogen and progesterone after retrieval, so I have to supplement that with the patches and shots.  While they haven’t done another blood test since right before retrieval, my levels were in the good category then, so I’m hoping that we are doing everything necessary to make this little embryo stick.

Once we decided to go ahead with the transfer, the doctor sent us into the exam room and had me undress from the waist down (nothing new).  Spencer stood next to me to hold my hand and get a better view of the ultrasound screen. The nurse came in to check the bladder fullness; it was great.  The doctor came in a got everything set up.  The speculum was cold (why can’t they warm that thing up?!) and a tad uncomfortable. The nurse used the ultrasound to help the doctor find his way to where he needed to be in my uterus.  Then they called out to the embryologist that they were ready and about 30 seconds later, she came walking through the door with the catheter. She called out my name and birth date to confirm the correct patient, then handed the catheter to the doctor.  He inserted it, released the embryo into its new home, and pulled everything out. Then they tilted back the chair I was in and told me to rest for 10 minutes.  During this time, they came in for me to sign a form saying my name and date of birth were correct when the embryologist called it out.  That was it! I am now considered pregnant until proven otherwise.  Spencer took a few pictures. We asked the nurse to draw some circles on my backside for where the progesterone shots are supposed to go to make sure we were doing it right (and we had gotten pretty close, so yay for us).  I got dressed, went to the restroom, and we schedule our pregnancy test.  We headed home for lunch and an afternoon of binge watching Netflix.  I’m not on strict bed rest, but I’ve been lounging most of the day and plan to go into work late on Thursday, just to give our Baby Wolf time to settle in.  According to the progression charts I’ve seen online, it won’t really implant until Friday/Saturday/Sunday so until then, I’m just going to do my best to encourage it and send it warm, loving thoughts. So excited and nervous at the same time. These next two weeks are going to be so hard to get through.

Update October 8-

Got another call today saying they could freeze two more embryos.  One was AA and one was BC, which is fair/good.  So we had a total of 11 embryos make it to transfer or freezing! Way more than 50% with is what they say is average.  We actually could have us a little football team if they all work out.