Update

Spencer and I went in today for another beta test. The results came in a few hours later. My levels have dropped to 80. So this was a chemical pregnancy. There was something wrong with the embryo and it wouldn't have developed into a healthy baby. I'm am supposed to stop my progesterone and estrogen and come back for more betas until my number drops to 0.  Hopefully we can meet with the doctor soon and get even more answers.

We are completely devastated. We were so happy last week knowing that Frosty had made it through. It's hard to remember how exciting that felt since this week has just been bad news all week long.  I am just so disappointed that having a kid is so difficult for us.

We are going to take a short break and focus on us. I graduate in May and hope to get a promotion at work or find a better paying job at the least. Maybe shortly after that we can attempt another round once stress levels drop off again.

Thank you so much for all of the support. We feel so loved by our friends and family. I'm glad we got to share good news with you last week, but feel bad about taking that excitement away with the news this week.

Waiting game

Normally with an IVF cycle, you have a blood test to confirm pregnancy at nine days past transfer and again at 11 days past transfer.  These two tests are supposed to show an increase of at least 66%, preferably doubling within 72 hours.  This is a sign of a pregnancy progressing normally.  As everyone probably knows by now, our first test came back at 109, which confirmed that I am pregnant.  My second test did not happen until today, five days after the first, because of travel issues over the weekend.  For my numbers to show a 66% increase, I believe they should be around at least 300 now.  The results of this test showed my level at 163.  I had hoped that I heard the nurse incorrectly, but she confirmed the lower-than-desired level.  She said I need to come back in again on Wednesday to see what my levels are at.  She didn't really say that the levels are bad or good, just to retest. So of course, I turn to the internet...

The long and the short of it is that we don't really know what to expect from here on out.  My levels are not doubling like they should be, which could mean many things (most of which are not desired).  There is still a chance my levels go up again on Wednesday and Frosty is just growing a little slower for some reason. That's what we hope to hear on Wednesday and would like everyone to hope and pray for. However, the lower numbers could mean that Frosty had something wrong genetically and won't make it; it could also mean an ectopic pregnancy or that a twin didn't make it (which I am not sure applies to our case since we only transferred one embryo).  I am hopeful that Frosty is just as stubborn as I am and will kick it into high gear and raise those numbers up by Wednesday. However, it's hard not to dwell on the more likely outcome that this round just wasn't successful again, even though it started off well.

This has been very hard news to hear after such excitement last week.  I know everyone was so happy for us.  This news breaks my heart and I hope that I'm over-reacting and it all turns out OK after all.  I just ask for prayers and good thoughts and a Christmas miracle right now.  I plan to do my best over the next few days to provide Frosty with the best home possible and hope for the best.  With any luck, my next post will have a much happier message.

Beta Test: Round II

I’m going to start with what everyone is really waiting for…Frosty made it through! We are pregnant!  It’s still very early and we have a few more hurdles to get through, but we wanted to share the exciting news with everyone.  When I started this blog, I decided that I want to share the good and the bad with y’all.  So hopefully it’s only good news from here on out.

Now for the rest of the update since my last post…

Spencer has been doing a great job with my progesterone shots.  I barely feel them and haven't had any knots in my bum from the oil not absorbing properly.  We even had to do one at the car after his graduation, which was a tad different. The progesterone has definitely had an effect on me though; see the symptoms below, most of them are caused by the progesterone shots.

Today was my beta test to determine if Frosty made it through the two week wait.  A short blood draw in the morning, then a long wait throughout the day for that phone call.  I had to let it go to voicemail because I had interview committee obligations to fulfill throughout the morning.  But once that was done, I looked at my phone and saw the text version of the voicemail.  The key words that stood out to me were congratulations, positive, 109! I was so giddy, but ending a conversation with some coworkers so I kept it inside for a few minutes.  I was shaking by the time I walked out of the library and headed to my car.  I texted Spencer immediately and told him the good news.  I’m pretty sure I’ve cried and been very shaky over the news, as well as absolutely giddy.  It was much easier to function at work the rest of the day compared to when we got the bad news two months ago, even if it was a little hard to focus.

I have another blood test on Saturday to determine if my levels keep rising. The doctor wants to see my level at over 220 to indicate a healthy increase and healthy pregnancy.  So keep the good thoughts and prayers coming please.  We are not completely out of the woods yet, so it’s cautious optimism right now.  After Saturday’s blood test, the next hurdle is the ultrasound to make sure the baby is actually there and it’s not just an empty sac; we might even get to hear the heartbeat then.  I know most women wouldn’t even share this news for another two months, but I don’t care.  I want everyone to be able to celebrate with us now and hopefully at each milestone along the way.  And if, God forbid, we do get bad news eventually, we know we have an excellent support network to mourn with (let’s hope we don’t have to use it though).

Shot/blood draw counter: IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII II

Symptom tracker:  still a little tired (sleepy time is around 8:30/9 pm most nights), nose goes crazy with random smells, taste buds are off making lots of food not as delicious as it used to be, dizzy more often, a little bloated most of the time, hot flashes occasionally, cry more at things that shouldn't really make a grown woman cry (the news gets really iffy sometimes depending on how many heartwarming stories they have to share), slightly crampy (but that's completely normal as Frosty digs in and my uterus makes room for him/her), allergies have been going haywire the last two weeks (I even had to go to my primary care doctor to get antibiotics my sore throat got so bad)

Transfer day: Round II

So apparently I only posted about transfer day on Facebook, not here.

Second time's the charm

On Monday, December 7th, we transferred one little embryo (I'm calling it Frosty).  The transfer went smoothly.

Frosty is back home!

Baby's first picture

I spent the rest of the week sending out good vibes, not stressing about anything, drinking tons of water, and eating healthy.  I had allergy issues because of the crazy Texas weather the first week of December, and after the transfer things hadn't changed too much. I still had a runny nose and dry throat.  Because of the junk going on in the head, I found it hard to notice any possible symptoms during the two week wait.  We also didn't want to test early at home this time, so the blood test on Wednesday December 16th will be a total surprise.

Things are moving right along!

I just came back from my latest sonogram appointment.  The nurse said my lining looked great, measuring about 9 mm and 11 mm on the two different measurements (I think-the screen wasn't really facing me as much as it usually is so those are the numbers I think I saw).  She said we are right on track for a transfer next week.  After looking at the doctor's schedule, she picked 2:45 on Monday, December 7th.  We finally decided to transfer just one embryo this time. There was a lot of debate between ourselves over one or two (my rational side said one, while the hormonal/emotional side said two), but both the doctor and the embryologist suggested just one since they are rated perfect quality.  The embryologist said that if the one embryo doesn't thaw very well and the quality is downgraded, they can quickly thaw another and we can transfer two in that situation.  So this is all exciting news!

I have one more subcutaneous shot of Lupron to give myself tonight and then Spencer takes over with the intramuscular ones in my bum for the progesterone.  Knowing how well it went last time, I don't think I'm as nervous about these this time around.  I don't have to do the patches of estrogen like last time; it's just a pill form of estrogen this time.  I'm happy with this because the sticky from the patches was hard to get off and the patches were just kind of annoying.  I'm not really sure what else to write about right now, so I'll just leave you with what Spencer says is his favorite part of the blog (and something I'd stopped doing):

Shot/blood draw counter: IIII IIII IIII IIII IIII I

Symptom tracker: tired (sleepy time is around 8:30/9 pm most nights), nose goes crazy with random smells, taste buds are off making lots of food not as delicious as it used to be, dizzy more often, a little bloated most of the time, hot flashes occasionally, cry more at things that shouldn't really make a grown woman cry (the news gets really iffy sometimes depending on how many heartwarming stories they have to share)