I read a ton of blogs about pregnancy and a few about raising kids while pregnant. I was so tired and overwhelmed I wanted to take it one day at a time and not get too far ahead of myself. Oops. Turns out I don't have time now, so it's mostly winging it or googling as things come up. Probably for the best really. So I decided to come up with a list of things I've learned in the last year, mostly stuff I don't remember seeing anywhere before.
Before you get pregnant...
Teach your partner to make your favorite comfort foods. You will be sick and want that dish your mom makes. Hubby will try to make the recipe, but you never actually use the recipe as written. It will be good, but just not quite right and won't kill the craving.
Stock your freezer with freezer meals. This goes along with the tip before, especially if your partner isn't a strong cook.
Squats! Do so many squats (weighted even) and build up those leg muscles. As you develop that bump, bending over will be hard so you will end up squatting more. And you will be carrying extra weight from the baby/ies. Your thighs are gonna burn! I thought it'd get better after pregnancy, but nope. You will have a baby in your arms and they drop their burp cloth. Gotta squat to pick it up. Let's just say I have excellent legs now.
During pregnancy...
Give yourself grace. You will be tired. You are growing another living being.
Go to labor and delivery whenever you feel like you might need to. I didn't want to be that worrywart, but finally decided it's better safe than sorry.
Watch your blood pressure. If you start to feel off, check your blood pressure. I thought it was blood sugar levels too high or low. That's actually the start of my blood pressure problems. Swelling is a bad sign too. My feet and legs swelled bad, but my doctor said that it was my face and hands that could indicate a bad problem. Keep track of it and let your doctor know as soon as it starts to creep up.
People lose all sense of what's appropriate and private. I had my belly rubbed by complete strangers. People always want to know the sex. I'm rather open and told them way more than they'd want to know, but you don't have to. Just come up with a few witty-comebacks or perfect the smile and keep walking look.
After pregnancy...
Ask for breast milk in the hospital. In our hospital, the kids stayed with us in our room. My milk didn't come in at first, so the nurses offered breast milk donated to the NICU. I don't know if they do that for everyone, but it doesn't hurt to ask before going to formula to supplement.
Keep all the little bottles. If you do get breast milk, it comes in tiny little 2 ounce bottles with disposable nipples. Rinse these out and take home. They are the perfect size for the first few months when the kids only eat less than 2 ounces at a time. Plus when the kids are bigger, they will be able to start holding the bottle on their own sooner since these are smaller and lighter.
Sleep when you can. Ask for help. It's hard raising a newborn. Some nights are harder than others. Don't worry about the state of your house. Your and your baby's well-being is more important. Figure out the bare minimum of what needs to get done and do that. Then make a plan for the bigger stuff and just do a little bit each day. For us, sometimes it was just clean the bottles and laundry. We survived on a lot of fast food and our house was a complete mess for the longest time. We just tossed things we didn't need in a spare room to hide it.
Embrace the drive thru and grocery delivery. I hated any drive thru before kids. If I was driving, I always parked and went inside. Not now with two babies. Anything with a drive thru or curbside service gets my business now. And those grocery stores that will shop for you and bring it out to your car...amazing! When I was too sick during the pregnancy and now that there are two babies, this feature is a God-send.
Don't go to the store alone in the first month. You will need a well-rested chaperone. Hubby and I would go to the store while my parents watched the kids. It was like going somewhere drunk. We were so sleep deprived we couldn't think straight. Trips took twice as long because we couldn't keep a train of thought long enough to accomplish the task. Lists were essential. We would walk to the baby section to get diapers and realized we didn't grab a basket. Deciding between brands on anything was tough.
Give yourself grace here too.You are doing the best you can. Both of you are adapting to a new life and figuring it out as you go along. If you care about being a bad mom, then you really are a good mom because a bad one wouldn't care so much. (if that sentence makes any sense at all)
Trust your mommy gut. There have been a few times I tried to play it cool and let the doctor tell me I was crazy or imagining things or it was normal. But then I'd be right back in his office a few days later with a sick kid. I'm learning now to trust that I know when something isn't quite right. I at least make the doctor investigate a tad bit more instead of accepting a brush-off. That's what I'm paying him for, and I know my kid the best after all.
Document your experience. I don't remember much from the first 6-9 months. I have notes I made in my phone about milestones and fun things we did, plus I have a million photos/videos from my phone, as well as my husband, grandparents, and daycare. My hope is to one day find the time to gather them all in one place. My sister-in-law made a book for my nephew's first year, editing each month so it was ready to go on his 1st birthday. I thought that was a great idea.
It took 9 months for your body to change, give it at least that long to return to "normal." I don't think I'll every really look the same as I did pre-kids. I have some stretch marks and my c-section scar. My belly button is still a weird innie/outie. My abs separated alot to make room for the twins. I couldn't feel my bladder for a while. The kids are now 10 months old and I still don't feel like I'm back to normal. The scar is hidden from public view, my tummy still shows signs of stretch marks, scars from my surgeries, and my belly button is still odd. My abs have gone back together some, but I can tell they still aren't 100%. I'm trying not to lose patience and accept that these changes may become permanent, but it can be hard sometimes to feel cute/sexy when my hair is a mess and I can't remember the last time I showered.
That's all I have for now. Any tips you want to add...
